"I don't think my baby likes me! He's always looking away..."

Katia remarks as she holds Jonah, her 3-week old. Wanting to show me what she means, she leans over Jonah and begins to sing a funny Yiddish song. The baby’s eyes are at first bright and attentive. As she persists with the song and enthusiastically rubs his head, the baby’s gaze moves toward the window. “I guess I’m boring him, or maybe he just doesn’t like this song!” Katia says with a sad tone in her voice.

The Science: Misunderstanding the Baby's Body Language

Many new parents lack knowledge about how to read a baby’s body language. As parents get to know their newborn, misunderstanding their baby’s behavior creates anxiety in the parent and can interfere with the developing parent-child relationship. Babies born early, or fragile babies, are easily over-stimulated. However, energetic, loving parents may also, unknowingly, over-stimulate a full-term baby. New parents must learn to notice when a baby sends out an “SOS” – Sign of Over-stimulation.

There are two kinds of SOS—Body SOSs (changes in skin color, movement or breathing) and Behavioral SOSs – “Spacing Out” (getting drowsy), “Switching Off”( turning away from the parent), and “Shutting Down”(going to sleep) .(See these SOSs in action.)

"Ah-Ha" Moment: How The HUG information helps this mother

Katia laughs when she sees the SOSs on The HUG DVD. “Oh, that’s just like Jonah. The more I talk and rub his head, the more he looks away from me.” Katia demonstrates what she has learned this week. She holds Jonah in front of her and waits for him to look at her, breathe regularly, and maintain his normal skin color. As she sings her song this time, Katia recognizes an SOS as Jonah begins to get drowsy and look away. Mom stops singing a moment and gently rocks him. In only a few seconds Jonah turns back toward his mother. She now finishes her song and gives him a big kiss on the forehead! Mother and baby look connected and content—more “in love” than ever before.